My Diary II

With my begging, her heart softened, but she still put up an annoyed face and walked into the park. She sat on the benches looking like she wanted to leave. I went to the big oak tree to look for something. She knew I was looking for what we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago. It said, "Gary and Christine was here, Gary had a tea and Christine had a hot chocolate. Hope we would always remember this day, always loving each other forever." I was looking around quite a while, then I came back slowly with tears on my face.

I said to her wrongly, "I can't find it, it's not there anymore." I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain flowing into my heart, the kind of pain that I've never felt before. But all she do was pretend she didn't care and said, "Can we go now?" She opened up my umbrella, I was just standing there hoping there was still a chance. I said, "You made up the story of you and that other man didn't you?" I know I always made you sad, but I'll change, can we start over?"

She didn't say a word, just looked down and shook her head. After that, we just kept on walking towards the train station, didn't say a word to each other.

Two years ago, she did the same thing to me. I know she had her reasons. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about her. I didn't think about her until a year ago she called me out for dinner. First I taught the feelings would go away, but it grew stronger until the point that I couldn't take it anymore. The person that I love the most in this whole world, that I couldn't let go.

The train had stopped running so I called a taxi. We were just standing there, waiting and loosing our last moments in silence. I saw the taxi from far, I held my tears and said to her, "Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself..promise me."

She didn't talk and just nodded lightly. I opened up my umbrella and stepped out on the street. Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one red and one black, so far away from each other. She opened up the door for me and I got in, then I closed the door that would separate me and her forever. I was in the car, staring at the dark window , at the first love in my life and also the last one who walks out of my life. The car started driving into the street. Finally I couldn't hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer, waving my arms rapidly to her because I knew this would be the last time I see her. I wanted to tell her that I love her so much but the taxi had already turned into the corner. Warm tears keep falling down my face blended with rain drops. I was cold not because of the rain.

I was cold inside for loneliness and sadness.

-THE END-